“Abusive ‘love’ is…”

9 November 2009

When you said: “I love you” to your abusive partner, you doubtless surrendered your heart and your independence. When he said: “I love you”, he took possession of your heart and your independence. What did he give in return?

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When ‘love flies out of the window’

9 May 2009

In my experience, abused women carry many old, limiting beliefs about relationships.  Most commonly, they are simply not aware of them.  They can long for the best in their life, but the beliefs that have been programmed into them lead them to expect… if not the worst, then something second, or third, rate. Curiously enough, love does not appear to fly out of the window when we are maltreated.  Abused women have, if anything, a pathological attachment to their abusive partner.  In reality, that has far more to do with fixation than love. 

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