anger

“It’s not about you!” Part 2

6 May 2009

It’s not about you, in the sense that it is not about continuing to focus on the sadness of what you have been through, and lost.  It’s not about the fear and the pain you have experienced. You have a mission.  When you are a victim of abuse, you are just thinking about you.  You are the only person that can live your mission, and if you don’t do your mission, it won’t get done. 

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When You Can’t “Just Be Friends” With Your Ex

5 June 2007

Leaving an abusive man is never easy. Women are most at risk when the relationship breaks down.
It’s easy to see why you could argue that throwing an abusive man the sop of friendship might keep his anger in check. Naturally, he hates being ignored. But it remains the safest course of action.

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Kick The Cat Syndrome

10 December 2006

One reader describes this syndrome more tellingly than I could. Like many of us, after an abusive childhood she fell into other abusive relationships. She writes:
“I’ve had so much anger bottled up in me, and recently it was me who lashed out in anger at someone else .. mostly because he wasn’t being honest with me .. but even so, I don’t want to end up being an ‘abuser’ !”

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How Not To Make The Same Mistakes Again

20 February 2006

Most people can’t get behind the wheel of a car for the first time and drive away like a seasoned driver. But one or two can. Most people can’t sit down at a piano for the first time and play a Mozart sonata; although you might find the odd one or two who can play whatever [...]

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