abusive husband

How you leave an abusive relationship

22 December 2010

Everything Susie said was self-critical. She should have jumped by now. She should have left her abusive husband. Susie wasn’t prepared to cut herself any slack at all. Intellectually, she knew everything I – or anyone else – could tell her. But, still, there she was, paralyzed… (Because it’s not what you know with your head that matters; what matters is getting your heart to the point of letting go of a relationship that does NOT work.)
Susie’s knowledge hadn’t percolated through to heart level, yet.

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Abusive Men – Why They Don’t Want You To Be Happy

29 November 2010

The abusive man is looking for someone who will serve him 24-7 in various departments of his life: the bedroom, the kitchen, the finance department, parenting – both of his children, and himself – and so on, and so forth. But more than that, the abusive man is someone who will carry a heavy load of loathing – his loathing both for himself and for other people. He is looking for someone he can dump that load on, forever after.

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“What’s wrong with me?”

10 November 2010

There comes a point in every abusive relationship when you know you should get out. Your abusive partner is making you miserable, you know the relationship is all wrong and, as far as you can see, your life has stopped dead… But still you stay. You know you should leave, but you don’t.
Instead, you ask ourself: “What’s wrong with me?”

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“I’m Not Sure I Am An Abused Woman…”

31 October 2010

Your husband tells you that you are selfish, self-centred, and you have ruined your his life. What a poor hard done by victim he is! But, also, what a negative, critical, fault-finding, punitive, blaming partner he is. If he’s that unhappy, why hasn’t he left you long ago? Unless, the reason he stays with you is because, actually, he enjoys blaming you for ‘ruining his life’… I’m guessing your husband gets a real high out of telling you how awful you are. Now, in my book, that is selfish, and destructive. It is the hallmark of an abusive man.

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When Will You Take Center Stage In Your Life?

20 July 2010

In an abusive relationship, you disappear from your own map of the world. You only have to listen to an abused woman. You only have to listen to yourself. You have your list of priorities: your partner, your children, your pet… And then nothing… Look down far enough and you will eventually find yourself, at the very bottom of the heap: the Woman Who Believed She Didn’t Matter.

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