abuser

Falling in love stinks when…

17 November 2010

Falling-In-Love, as far as I can see, is about leaping without looking. Falling-In-Love lays you open to the whole unsavory pack of jerks, abusers, and narcissists. I asked my client whether she would take a job without first finding out about the pay and terms of employment. She sounded surprised. She answered, briskly: “Of course not.” Then she saw the connection. You don’t have to fall in love on Day 1, Day 2, or Day 20. Falling-In-Love is optional, not obligatory – although it is a neat way of silencing the little voice in your head that says: “Er… I don’t think so. This one is NOT for me!”

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Different kinds of bad relationships

14 September 2010

Wouldn’t it be nice if we only had to experience being ill-treated by one man, and we learned from it never to make certain mistakes again? For most of us, the reality is slightly different. We learn that a certain kind of man treated us badly, in a certain kind of way, and we resolve never to make that mistake again. Sadly, we don’t think that we could be vulnerable to different, but equally calamitous, mistakes. That is precisely why we repeat them.

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