Who do you learn how to deal with abusive people from?
How to deal with abusive people is, quite probably, one of the most essential recovery skills you need to learn. It’s also the skill that abusive people really don’t want you to learn, for obvious reasons.
Normally, the people from whom you learn how to deal […]
The inner cringe at emotional abuse is something that anyone who has ever been in a toxic relationship has done a thousand times. The word “cringe” itself – defined as to: “bend one’s head and body in fear or apprehension or in a servile manner” describes perfectly how an emotional abuser teaches you to respond.
It […]
Christmas is the hardest time
For emotionally abused women Christmas can be the hardest time of year. The hype of Christmas becomes a magnifying glass through which everything that’s not right with their lives is judged – remorselessly.
Of course, that begs the question: by whom is it judged?
Obviously, by those people in their lives who first […]
An emotionally abusive relationship is a journey into darkness. It’s like venturing further and further into a fog; one of the – now fabled – pollution-generated fogs we used to have in the UK. Those fogs were rightly called ‘pea-soupers’ because they were as thick and solid as a split-pea soup. (Well, my split-pea soup […]
Let’s start with the basics. Emotional abuse is incredibly hard to recognise for what it is, let alone deal with, when you’re in it, because you can’t possibly see it for what it is. As you see it, you’re in a relationship with another human being – it’s about you and him.
In practice, something very […]
When you are in a relationship with an emotionally abusive man, you are always aware of the judgments of Other People. They’re like a Greek chorus commenting on your life. You just know they spend their time wondering, none too compassionately, “Why does she stay?”
Mostly, there are plenty of good reasons why you stay: like finances, […]
What happens to emotionally abused women in counselling is not always what you would expect. It would be hard to overstate the hopes of emotionally abused women who go into counselling and/or therapy. Now, finally, they have found someone who will be in their corner and help and support them on their journey to recovery.
Sadly, […]
Verbal abuse does untold harm – and yet it largely passes unnoticed: you only have to think of that old saying: “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That was something my father – who was no slouch when it came to using words that, allegedly, never hurt – […]
The woman I was talking with was strong, vocal, out there. She was, she said, a BIG personality, absolutely NOT a push-over for an emotionally abusive partner. Rather, she was someone ‘who intimidated the crap out of men’. That was a problem for her. It wasn’t so much that men ran for the hills when she […]
Who taught you…?
Dion felt invisible – but like most emotionally abused women she wasn’t even aware what was wrong
“Who taught you that you didn’t matter much?” I asked Dion.
“What do you mean?” she replied.
That kind of blank incomprehension is common in my emotionally abused clients. They’ve been emotionally neglected -and/or rejected – by key figures […]
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.
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