You MUST Recover From Emotional Abuse – Here’s Why

by Annie Kaszina on April 28, 2015

What makes it so hard to recover from emotional abuse? Most women don’t understand how vital it is that they do.  Probably the most important – and damaging – belief you learn in an emotionally abusive relationship is that you don’t matter.  It’s all about the other person, your emotionally abusive partner. Because he behaves the way he does towards you, it shapes the way you see yourself.    It creates so ingrained a belief in your unimportance and worthlessness that you  automatically accept it. It’s impossible to overstate  the damage that that belief wreaks on your inner world

You MUST Recover From Emotional Abuse

Before you can truly and completely recover from emotional abuse, you have to weed out that belief.  By the time you decide you have to walk away, most probably that toxic belief has spread its roots into every area of your life. That doesn’t make weeding it out impossible.  It simply means you have to be thorough.  The good news is that there is a MASSIVE pay-off for weeding it out.  The pay-off is a life filled with joy, meaning, and laughter; a life filled with love, connection and self-worth.

The challenge you face is to keep yourself on track. You’ve been trained  to be easily discouraged – and let’s face it, your emotionally abusive partner is no slouch when it comes to negative brain-training.

Here are the 10 reasons why you HAVE to make a full recovery from emotional abuse.

You MUST Recover From Emotional Abuse

  • The Groundhog day Issue. The lessons you don’t fully learn, you’re doomed to repeat.  That’s why so many women replace one emotionally abusive partner with another – albeit a superficially different one.
  • Happiness You can never feel happy while you are still living in the emotional hell your partner created for you. Remember, that hell doesn’t just fade away if he moves on.
  • Safety You will never feel safe while you live the emotionally abused lifestyle. If you are constantly frightened about being judged, attacked, or ill-treated, or if you’re frightened you can’t manage to build a life for yourself,  it’s a clear sign that your time and energies are spent trying to make yourself feel safe in an unsafe world. Healing occurs when you can create the safety you crave within yourself.  Living with a sense of safety is normal for most people.  It should be normal for you, too.
  • Freedom You can never be free to create your life for as long as you tell yourself what you cannot do, who you cannot be, and what you cannot have.
  • Your children Your children are not stupid. If you tell them one thing but live another way, they will pick up the message of your actions. Which means that you will end up teaching them the emotionally abused lifestyle. You really don’t want that for them.

You MUST Recover From Emotional Abuse _06

  • YOU You owe it to yourself. You’ve had a bum rap from You-know-who for long enough for it to feel like your normal. It’s not normal, it’s not right, and it’s not doing you any good, at all. It’s time to send a message – to yourself – that you are worth so much more than that.
  • You pay a high price The emotional and financial costs of emotional abuse are HUGE. If you feel downcast, depressed, disempowered, self-doubting and demotivated, that’s the emotional cost of emotional abuse. It’s not who you are. It’s just how emotional abuse leaves you feeling. If you’re struggling financially – or worry you’ll always struggle emotionally – that’s just the financial cost of emotional abuse.  The more you heal, the more you come to believe in yourself; and the more talents and abilities you come to own that you can monetize.  When you struggle emotionally, you struggle financially.  That’s just the way it works.
  • You want a loving relationship You want a loving relationship with a good man. Before you can have that loving relationship you have to leave Mr Nasty behind, and leave behind all the learned toxic relationship baggage, anxieties, and expectations. You cannot create a good relationship while you’re still stuck in the bad relationship headspace.
  • It’s your life You only have one life. One of the things an emotionally abusive relationship encourages you to do is give up on your own life. Many emotionally abused women are ready to give up on their lives 30, 40 or even 50 years before they actually die. How sad is that?    Give up on your toxic relationship, sure enough, but NEVER, EVER give up on your happiness, on the good things that lie ahead for you.  You just have to step up to the plate and own them.
  • You have the power You’re a role model. You do not know who you can inspire by your story of overcoming the awful things you’ve been through. Just think how your own story, taken to a happy resolution, would inspire you. You owe that to yourself, your children, your friends, even women you don’t even know. Every story I tell of a woman who’s found the courage to leave an emotionally abusive relationship and reclaim her life, inspires other women all over the world – women she’ll never even meet. She becomes an example who will inspire other women to walk away from the misery they didn’t believe they could leave behind them.   You can, too.

 

 

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